BATTLE PLAN!!

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened and do not be dismayed for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

     Wednesday, May 8, 2019, though it was a cloud day brought much clarity!! Angela, her parents, and myself were able to meet with her oncologist (Master Sarcoma Specialist) Dr. Van Tine in clinic. It was very enlightening, but it still had some unsatisfying feeling to it!! The kind of feelings that come along with wanting to know the end of the crazy open-ended book or movie.
     I picked up Angela from my mom's house around 1:30pm to get her to her 3pm appointment. I hadn't seen her face to face in a few days and we missed each other terribly. Lots of holding hands, hugs and rubbing backs. She was beautiful. The first thing I noticed was the scarf wrapped around her head, as it draped down her right shoulder. I mentioned to her that I remember her wearing that exact scarf (that has a dress) 22 years ago when I first laid eyes on her. It was actually worn on her waist back then. She smiled and said, Oh yeah it is!?! It was like opening a time capsule that was buried for 2 decades. It was a beautiful reminder of how we got started together and it was a type of rekindling of sweet emotion. I love her and she was made for me!
     As we drove down to Barnes my heart was heavy with the grind of uncertainty. We've had these emotions before. Back in 2010 I was being evaluated by the Lung Transplant Team at Barnes to see if I was qualified to receive a double lung transplant. I  went through the testing and had an appointment with a pulmonary specialist. Angela and I sat there had listen to the specialist tell us that I was not a good candidate from the teams perspective. It was a major test to faith!! Fear was hacking away at our hearts like a lumberjack on a soft log!! A fire was set ablaze in our souls. However, the specialist did give us a glimmer of hope! He said that they would have to talk to the top surgeon to get his perspective. Yes!! We still had hope!! A couple of weeks later we met with surgeon and he told us that he thought "it was doable!" It was definitely better that "not doable! (I think we were taken back by this genius's choice of words. We still chuckle at it when we share the story.
     Deja Vu was the theme for the ride down to the hospital for Angela's appointment. We were uncertain and anxious. We were expecting a terrible prognosis, but we were constantly reminded by the Bible that God is in supreme control and that cancer is not in control of our lives. Angela, with her beautiful smile, almost mocking the cancer and the devil, said that God had told her today that "He already knows the plan and that I'm not to fear." Enough said!! When a woman looks at you in the eyes and says those words, you go into soldier mode, put on your big boy pants and salute her! Yes Ma'am! She has HERO status in my mind!!
     In the waiting room my attitude is growling with snarled teeth. "It's 3:45pm, Why haven't they seen us yet?!? My specialists get me in so much quicker!" Did I mention to you that I'm a sinner in need of a Savior. If not, now you know. We got back to the examination/meeting room soon after. Did I ever mention that I have a shaky leg? I decided not sit down and stand in the corner by the sink. No one needs a "shaky leg" when a doctor enters a room to tell you news about your health. Angela and her parents, fully composed, take a seat with smile and peace on their faces. Doc and his right hand nurse come in to give the news. The biopsy results have come in and it confirms that she has the cancer they suspect, "Leiomyosarcoma" or LMS. Finally, we have a solid name to the animal living inside her. But there still was no relief to the sadness. He indicated that the cancer in her is a rare cancer and that it appears to be aggressive because of the 12.5 centimeter mass in her right lung and that is has metastasized to other regions of her body. The doc was a little thrown off because testing seemed to indicate that it wasn't aggressive. Appearance seems to say it all in his mind; its aggressive and needs to be treated that way. I think its aggressive because its in my wife's body......enough said!! Get it OUT!!
     Doc Van Tine says that he's going schedule for her to receive her next round of Chemotherapy on May 15, 2019. She will be admitted into the hospital for 4 days to get 4 more doses of the exact meds she received 2 weeks ago. Before she gets the chemo, the doc has ordered that she get a blood transfusion that will boost her blood counts! This will help so much!! One of the great things to being admitted into the hospital while getting some of the most aggressive chemotherapy to treat one of the most aggressive cancers, is that she will be with specialists and professionals that have some of the most tender and compassionate hearts we've ever seen. I've seen them with her and I am so impressed. She will also have her bestfriend, sister and mom with her during the night to take care of her. I would love to be first pick, but I haven't been chosen for this leg of the RACE. That's only because she asked me to be home with the boys and to give them the stability they're going to need while she's gone. I get it, but I don't necessarily like it. I want to be by her side to take care of her. Another "good" thing about this round of chemo is we know what she's walking into and there will be no other procedures that involve surgery or sedation. This last round was awful.
      So after chemo: Doc says we will be given a couple of weeks of with a possible blood transfusion in between the next chemo. He has ordered that another CT Scan be completed in about 5 weeks. We will know then if the chemo is working. Hopefully God has been using the Chemo to shrink the large mass in her chest. It is a play by play type of strategy. We have to find out what works in the world of medicine. Meanwhile, we know what works in the realm of the spirit and truth. God is on His throne and cancer is under his feet! We know that prayer works. Even the Doc told us during the clinic appointment that he has been made out to be a liar by those of faith when the are healed from this incurable disease. He doesn't like being called a liar. He even got a little spiritual when he mentioned Job.
     God never ceases to amaze us everyday we run this RACE HE HAS MARKED OUT BEFORE US. We know that we will be having divine appointments with all kinds of people who need to hear that there is hope in a broken world. We know that God has allowed this to happen to test our faith and trust, We are not to rely on ourselves but on Him. He is trustworthy and there is no Higher Standard of GOOD. He is in this for our good and His glory.

Specific Prayer request:
1) Large tumor will shrink to 6.5 centimeters and others will be gone.
2) Angela's BAD Cough will go away.
3) Angela have strength to endure and recover from chemo and that she will have a better experience.
4)Boys to stay healthy and strong through this process.
5) Docs to have wisdom and discernment.
6) We will continue to see the opportunities around us to be the light of the world.

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God is on his throne and cancer is under his feet!! This family doesn't fight alone!